Who are your mentors and the 5 people you spend the most time with? #046

Mentors & Motivators

Your Mentors and the people you have in your inner circle are critical to how you move through life and your business.

Jim Rohn famously said,

You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. 

I want to know who are your 5 people and who do you consider mentors?


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Who are your mentors?

Your mentors can be people in business you know in real life or people in business you know via their social online presence. 

You don’t have to have a direct 1-2-1 connection with someone for them to be a mentor, though I would suggest that at least 1 mentor is someone who can afford you some one on one time. They should ideally range from people a few steps ahead of you, to people who are where you want to be and I want to urge you to pick 2 or 3 max. Then I want you to stop trying to do all the things. 

I am so guilty of this and I know I’m not alone. I hear something someone says and I love it then I’m all in on that person following their social, their podcast, their email list, you name it I’m on it and oh my days the OVERWHELM. How are you meant to do anything in your business if you are busy doing what 20 other entrepreneurs are telling you to do?

Be selective and look at what you need right now. For example, you might have an in-person mentor someone who has run a wedding business for years and has seen it all and you are close enough with that person you can call them up and run ideas past them and get feedback. That is awesome and I’d urge you to find that 'someone'. If you already have 'someone' awesome treasure that person!


Online Mentors

Now you have 1 or 2 slots for mentors left on your panel. These you can pull from online sources and they don’t have to be lifers, they can be season mentors. So, for example, if you are wanting to up your Instagram game you might find an Instagram mentor and once you feel you’ve learnt what you need you could swap that mentor out for a different one.

Don’t make the mistake I did of following all the people and getting on all the lists. Why? They all give such gold! Yes they do but you can’t do all the things, all the time and in the words of my online mentor Amy Porterfield you gotta do one thing and do it really well and you can’t if you’re trying to implement all the teachings.

This isn’t to say you never download a freebie from another teacher or watch them on social but just be mindful to focus on your required outcomes and don’t get pulled down a rabbit hole. At the moment Amy Porterfield (Online Marketing) and Stu Mclaren (Memberships Master) are my online mentors. I have spent money with both of them and I find for my personality and my business needs these two give me what I need.

Now, other online people, I love to hear from are Jasmine Star (instagram), Marie Forleo  (business), Pat Flynn (podcasting), Jenna Kutcher (pinterest), Carrie Green (UK based online Entrepreneur) and so many more. But there is a difference between taking in some content and seeing how I might use it and diving deep into a topic and unpacking it spending time on it.

Have you heard the phrase too many cooks spoil the broth? That can happen here too. You spend all your time learning and implementing the stuff these people put out there, that you lose your own business goals and direction in the process? And what they contradict each other? It can get totally confusing and overwhelming.

So dive deep with no more than two at a time, and move on as you need to. This is important to remember especially when you look at clubhouse where there are many business leaders offering all sorts of conflicting advice so just be careful pick your mentors and focus in on them.




Your Inner Circle

Now let's talk about Jim Rohn’s comment. 

You’re the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with the most. 

Obviously in lock down you maybe thinking oh that’s why i’ve been so whiney my 5 are 3 under 8’s and adult child and a cat, hopefully not. 

But yes in lockdown you are with your family more but they are a constant any way and your children are a reflection of what you pour into them so setting yourself up for success here will do the same for them. So with the exception of your children who are your 5 people? Who are the people who you allow to have the most time form you in the week?

My 5 people:

  1. Matthew (my Partner)
  2. Mum
  3. Gemma (my Sister)
  4. Julia (Work Colleague)
  5. Stu (my Mentor)

What do those 5 people take from you and what do you get from them, it has to be a reciprocal relationship and how do these people make you feel, who do you need to move out of the 5 and who could you move in?

If you surround yourself (and it is a choice if you surround yourself with), with people who are negative, who moan, who dramatise everything and draw drama too them, how are you going to be able to keep positive? How are you ever going to get the inspiration to move forward? Be really conscious of who those people are I have found that by shifting to those 5 people above I am a much happier much more positive person and it’s made huge improvements to my mental health.

That's not to say you don't talk or spend time with anyone else but these people get most of my time  and your 5 should get the most of yours. By giving them that time and space in your life they can feed into what you are doing and how you are growing.

You may need to change these 5 people different seasons of your life will need different personalities and different motivators so review them regularly. And if you find you mood shifting to the negative look at where you are spending your time is it with the 5 people you know put you in a good place or has your 5 slipped and you're spending time with people who drain you?


Your Mentors & Top 5 Combo

The combination of the right 5 people and the right mentors will set you up for great success. ALWAYS make sure one or two of those 5 people are further along in their journey than you are so they can inspire and guide but make sure you’re doing the same of others who are a few steps behind where you are, it’s a circle and as I posted on my social said a few weeks ago

you always gain by giving love

Reese Witherspoon 

I think that works in general, give to give, have it coming from a place of generosity and you will gain in so many ways.


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